Quoted:
I am Barack Obama, and I approve this message.
America, it is time for us to wake up and do something about one of the biggest issues facing the country today. Gravity.
The current administration has done nothing, absolutely NOTHING to address the problems and concerns surrounding gravity. And yet, look at the devastating effects that gravity has on all of us...
Do you realize that gravity kills? The pressure that this natural force puts on all of us causes countless health problems as we age. Are you tired of wrinkles and various body parts sagging? Gravity. Think of all the construction site and warehouse accidents that happen each year because of falling objects... Gravity's fault.
Imagine with me, for a moment, a world in which no gravity existed. Why, we would all be able to jump 5 to 6 feet in the air! Every single one of us - rich or poor, black or white - could land an NBA contract and our financial problems would be solved forever, as we all would be making several million dollars per year. If we had the audacity to hope for a world without gravity, we all could afford to fly anywhere... using just our arms!
Now, I know that my conservative opponents will say that this is impossible. I know that they will say I'm a hopeless dreamer. They will compare this to my other policies and say that this goes against the natural order of things. But like other issues that I am passionate about, I believe that hope will overcome natural laws...
For instance, instead of accepting the fact that India and China have harder working people, better educated graduates, and more cost effective manufacturing methods, I say we adopt protectionist policies to keep jobs in America. Sure, I know Europe has been doing this for 25 years, and is currently suffering some of the highest unemployment numbers in their history. Instead of actually solving the problem by accepting reality and taking measures to develop infrastructure and our populace, I say we spend a bunch of money to delay the inevitable. I'm sure American companies would rather enjoy less profit and produce goods that are 3-4x prices you see on shelves now, than produce high quality goods at low prices that we all can afford. I have the audacity to believe that we can somehow defy the natural laws of market economics and save jobs here in America!
Instead of accepting the fact that measures that reward or punish teachers based on the outcomes of their teaching have not worked but actually HURT the public education system, I say we keep doing it! Let's not hold parents accountable for the outcome of their children's education, that would never work! Rather, let's punish good teachers for the bad parenting choices that their student's have endured, so that all the good teachers and administrators leave the system, leaving just a broken, underfunded, deficient shell. I know that we would be attempting to defy the law of risk and reward, but I am sure there are plenty of qualified teachers out there who want to put their careers and livelihood in the hands of a government planner in Washington DC.
Instead of deregulating healthcare, let's socialize everything. Now, I know that some people say that the cost of healthcare is high because there is a shortage of medical personnel, and because of the prohibitive costs of doing business as a healthcare professional in this country. I know that my Democratic party has been mostly responsible for this. And I know that socializing medicine doesn't actually solve the ROOT problem. I know that what this will actually do is drive down the quality of care for everyone, just like in Europe and Canada. But, hey, I believe that we can defy the natural laws of supply and demand, and doesn't that give you a good feeling? And isn't that what being healthy is all about... a good feeling?
Americans, join me this November in showing the world that 6,000 years of human history doesn't apply to us. That the policies that have failed in every free society since time began can somehow work. Let's vote against gravity.
I am Barack Obama, and I approve this message.
(Barack Obama didn't actually approve this. But I think he would. Thanks for reading. -DP)
Showing posts with label Obama. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Obama. Show all posts
20 October 2008
22 May 2008
545 People (Republished)
Interesting article I came across...
545 People - by Charlie Reese
Politicians are the only people in the world who create problems and then campaign against them.
Have you ever wondered why, if both the Democrats and the Republicans are against deficits, we have deficits?
Have you ever wondered why, if all the politicians are against inflation and high taxes, we have inflation and high taxes?
You and I don't propose a federal budget. The president does.
You and I don't have the Constitutional authority to vote on appropriations. The House of Representatives does.
You and I don't write the tax code, Congress does.
You and I don't set fiscal policy, Congress does.
You and I don't control monetary policy, The Federal Reserve Bank does.
One hundred senators, 435 congressmen, one president and nine Supreme Court justices - 545 human beings out of 300+ million - are directly, legally, morally and individually responsible for the domestic problems that plague this country.
I excluded all the special interests and lobbyists for a sound reason. They have no legal authority.
Those 545 human beings spend much of their energy convincing you that what they did is not their fault. They cooperate in this common con-game regardless of party.
What separates a politician from a normal human being is an excessive amount of gall.
No normal human being would have the gall of a Speaker, who stood up and criticized the President for creating deficits.
The Constitution, which is the supreme law of the land, gives sole
responsibility to the House of Representatives for originating and approving appropriations and taxes.
It seems inconceivable to me that a nation of 300+ million cannot replace 545 people who stand convicted -- by present facts - of incompetence and irresponsibility.
If the tax code is unfair, it's because they want it unfair.
If the budget is in the red, it's because they want it in the red.
If the Marines are in IRAQ , it's because they want them in IRAQ .
If they do not receive social security but are on an elite retirement plan not available to the people, it's because they want it that way.
There are no insolvable government problems. Do not let these 545 people shift the blame to bureaucrats, to lobbyists, and regulators Above all, do not let them con you into the belief that there exists disembodied mystical forces like 'the economy,' 'inflation' or 'politics' that prevent them from doing what they take an oath to do.
Those 545 people and they alone, are responsible.
They, and they alone, should be held accountable by the people who are their bosses - provided we voters have the gumption to manage our own employees.
545 People - by Charlie Reese
Politicians are the only people in the world who create problems and then campaign against them.
Have you ever wondered why, if both the Democrats and the Republicans are against deficits, we have deficits?
Have you ever wondered why, if all the politicians are against inflation and high taxes, we have inflation and high taxes?
You and I don't propose a federal budget. The president does.
You and I don't have the Constitutional authority to vote on appropriations. The House of Representatives does.
You and I don't write the tax code, Congress does.
You and I don't set fiscal policy, Congress does.
You and I don't control monetary policy, The Federal Reserve Bank does.
One hundred senators, 435 congressmen, one president and nine Supreme Court justices - 545 human beings out of 300+ million - are directly, legally, morally and individually responsible for the domestic problems that plague this country.
I excluded all the special interests and lobbyists for a sound reason. They have no legal authority.
Those 545 human beings spend much of their energy convincing you that what they did is not their fault. They cooperate in this common con-game regardless of party.
What separates a politician from a normal human being is an excessive amount of gall.
No normal human being would have the gall of a Speaker, who stood up and criticized the President for creating deficits.
The Constitution, which is the supreme law of the land, gives sole
responsibility to the House of Representatives for originating and approving appropriations and taxes.
It seems inconceivable to me that a nation of 300+ million cannot replace 545 people who stand convicted -- by present facts - of incompetence and irresponsibility.
If the tax code is unfair, it's because they want it unfair.
If the budget is in the red, it's because they want it in the red.
If the Marines are in IRAQ , it's because they want them in IRAQ .
If they do not receive social security but are on an elite retirement plan not available to the people, it's because they want it that way.
There are no insolvable government problems. Do not let these 545 people shift the blame to bureaucrats, to lobbyists, and regulators Above all, do not let them con you into the belief that there exists disembodied mystical forces like 'the economy,' 'inflation' or 'politics' that prevent them from doing what they take an oath to do.
Those 545 people and they alone, are responsible.
They, and they alone, should be held accountable by the people who are their bosses - provided we voters have the gumption to manage our own employees.
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